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Providence Hospital 3-14 w4m Figured this is a long shot, but I was leaving Providence by the door near the ER and you held the door open for me. I wanted to speak but you were helping someone. Hope you read this, by the way you were really cute in your glasses! I'm not a "military wife" now, but I'm married to an ex-Coastie/Nat'lGuard/Army (yes, he was in all -). My Dad and brother were in the Army. My DSS is recently out of the National Guard. How it affects them personally, from my experience only, is that they become much more intolerant to others' mistakes and have a hard time forgiving stupidity. That's because mistakes and stupidity on the battle field can cost someone, or the entire unit, their LIVES. It's dealt with very harshly HAS to be. Some guys (girls too) have a hard time letting down that guard in their personal lives. It's much harder if they've been in actual combat. But others CAN adjust. My Dad (injured hard combat WWII) and brother (peacetime post-Vietnam) were both able to adjust, and were very sensitive, understanding and forgiving men. My DH (saw mild combat in the National Guard, but much death in the Coast Guard) struggles more. He has softened over the years, but his intolerance is still strong. family say he's cold-hearted. My step (severely injured hard combat 2yrs ago) struggles horribly. DSS is well, a basket case. I hate to say that, but he is. He sees any infraction or weakness in others, no matter how slight, and it sends him over-the-edge. However, most of this is due to his INJURY, and not to his military training or experience. And some is due to being raised by his Dad (my DH, above). Positive changes I've seen (not true for everyone, personal factors make a difference): Makes them more responsible and goal-oriented. (These guys are NOT lazy-ass deadbeats. Far from it.) Huge boost in confidence and independence. Self-reliant.